Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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