so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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