he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
