so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
