I look better un-naked...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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