I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
