he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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