I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you would pick up someone in the library
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
