Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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