hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
