i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
