Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she peed on how many people?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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