I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
