oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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