you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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