im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize