I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
