you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
