So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize