yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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