thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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