We named our party play list daddy issues
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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