I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
