When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
