SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
