I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
