I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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