Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
