i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
