I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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