uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
