after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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