I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
