i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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