cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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