ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
