You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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