the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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