I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
