you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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