Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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