dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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