you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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