she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
