paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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