biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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