i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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