Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
