me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
