We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
