dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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