You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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