Who wears a wallet chain?!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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