I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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