ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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