I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
