Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
