I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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