i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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