I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
