so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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