you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The beer is more important than you right now.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
