piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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